How labels can shape children and how to challenge them
‘It does what it says on the tin’ - how labels can shape children and how to challenge them
How would you describe yourself? Enthusiastic, kind, sensitive? And what about the children and young people in your setting - how are they described, and by whom?
Labels are everywhere. They help us distinguish one thing from another, but they also carry weight. In educational settings, this dynamic is especially powerful. Children and adolescents are constantly absorbing cues, verbal and non-verbal, that shape their sense of self. A child who is repeatedly labelled as “bossy” may internalise that identity, even if their behaviour stems from curiosity or leadership. The risk is that labels become fixed, narrowing self-perception and influencing how others engage with the child.
From reflections to values - a shift in perspective
Traditionally, identity development was explained through Charles Cooley’s ‘Looking-Glass Self’ (1902) which put forward the concept that we form our self-concept based on how we think others perceive us. But contemporary research offers a more empowering lens.
Shanyang Zhao’s ‘Self-Values Theory’ (2018) reframes identity as a dynamic process shaped not just by social feedback, but by the personal values individuals acquire through experience. Zhao argues that:
- Children and young people are not passive recipients of others’ perceptions - they actively interpret, filter and respond to feedback.
- Identity is shaped through agency, autonomy and value formation, not just reflection.
- Emotional experiences, relationships and play are key contexts for developing these values.
This theory aligns well with practice across age groups, where learners are constantly exploring who they are through interactions, choices, and emotional responses.
How the Skills for Life Programmes actively challenge labels
The Skills for Life programmes offer age-appropriate, evidence-based frameworks that do more than teach emotional literacy - they help children and young people rewrite the labels they’ve been given and discover new ways of seeing themselves.
|
Programme |
Age group |
How it challenges labels |
|
Early Years PSED Programme |
3 –5 |
Uses stories and role-play to help children explore emotions and behaviours without judgment. A child learns to name feelings likefrustration or sadness, reframing their identity through emotional understanding. |
|
Zippy’s Friends |
5 - 7 |
Introduces coping strategies and peer dialogue that allow children to reinterpret social feedback and build independence through structured activities. |
|
Apple’s Friends |
7- 9 |
Deepens empathy and communication skills, helping children challenge labels by understanding others’ perspectives and expressing their own. |
|
Passport |
9 - 11 |
Supports identity formation and influence through decision-making and resilience-building exercises. |
|
SPARK Resilience |
10 - 12 |
Draws on cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) tools to help adolescents reframe negative self-talk and external labels, building a more empowered narrative. |
|
Zippy's Friends for Pupils with SEND |
6 - 16 |
Offers a differentiated version of Zippy’s Friends to meet the needs of children with moderate to severe learning difficulties. Through simplified stories, visual tools and sensory activities, pupils are supported in recognising and expressing emotions, developing coping strategies and building a positive self-identity. |
Each programme is designed to be inclusive, adaptable, and rooted in real-world contexts. Practitioners are equipped with structured materials and training to embed emotional literacy into everyday practice - creating space for learners to explore who they are beyond the labels.
A call to reflect
Zhao’s theory challenges us to move beyond surface-level reflections and support children and young people in developing values that guide their identity. The Skills for Life programmes offer practical, research-informed ways to do just that. They invite us to nurture the whole learner, not just how they are seen; but how they see themselves. It reminds us that identity is not just taught, it is co-constructed. And it reinforces the belief that every learner deserves to be seen, heard and supported in becoming who they truly are.
