Change and Loss
Tips- When your child or you experience a change (good or bad) talk about it together and how it makes you feel. Explain that change is everywhere around us, that it is part of life and sometimes we cannot do anything about it.
- Read about helping children to cope with bereavement here.
- When the topic of death comes up in conversation, talk about it openly and answer your child's questions as honestly as possible.
| Activity 1 | Green fingers |
| Aim | To help your child understand that change is an everyday experience |
| How long will it take? | 15 minutes |
| What do I need? | A small pot of soil and fast germinating seeds (sunflower, runner bean, cress) |
| What do I do? | Your child plants the seeds and waters them daily. Green shoots will appear within a few days and your child will be able to see the plants growing taller day by day. |
| Activity 2 | My family |
| Aim | To help your child understand that change is an everyday experience |
| How long will it take? | Variable |
| What do I need? | Family photograph album |
| What do I do? | Look at the album with your child. Talk about how the people in the pictures have changed over the years. If there are pictures of people whom your child does not know, talk about them and what they were like. |
| Activity 3 | My life in pictures |
| Aim | To help your child understand that we all change all the time |
| How long will it take? | 30-45 minutes |
| What do I need? | A large sheet of cardboard, some old magazines and photographs, and crayons |
| What do I do? | Work with your child to create a collage of their life so far. Talk to them about their early memories, people they remember, things they used to enjoy. Suggest that they cut out photos from magazines or draw pictures to show these memories. This is a very personal exercise, not an historical record - what matters is that the collage helps your child to remember. You can also use this game if someone dies. You and your child can make a collage of the person's life, as a way of remembering them. |
| Activity 4 | My old friend |
| Aim | To help your child understand that we all change all the time |
| How long will it take? | Variable |
| What do I need? | A friendly and patient older person |
| What do I do? | Arrange for your child to spend time talking to a much older person - a grandparent, perhaps, or an elderly neighbour. Your child can ask questions about things that are relevant to their own experience - what was your favourite food when you were a boy, where did you go on holiday when you were a girl, did you play sport, can I see a picture of you when you were as old as I am? Old people can really enjoy this exercise too, and it can build or strengthen a valuable friendship. Ideally, the old person should ask your child about their experiences now, to reinforce the awareness of change. |
| Activity 5 | Good and bad |
| Aim | To help your child understand that change can be positive and negative |
| How long will it take? | 20 minutes |
| What do I need? | A large sheet of paper or card and pencils |
| What do I do? | This is an activity to use when your child is about to face a major change - having a new brother or sister, moving home, going to a new school. Ask your child to draw a picture at the top of the sheet, showing what is about to change. Underneath, create two columns - Good and Bad. Then take it in turns to suggest what will happen, and decide whether they will be good changes or bad changes. List them on the sheet. Talk to your child about what they can do about the bad changes. |
| Activity 6 | Remembering |
| Aim | To help your child to cope with situations involving grieving and loss |
| How long will it take? | 20 minutes |
| What do I need? | Pen and paper |
| What do I do? | This is an activity for when someone dies. You and your child write a letter to the person who has died, recalling times you spent together and telling them how you feel. Your child can also draw them a picture. When you have finished, take the letter to the cemetery. You can adapt this activity when your child has to cope with other significant losses - a friend moving away, a pet dying. |
| Activity 7 | Count on me |
| Aim | To improve your child's abilities to help others who have experienced loss |
| How long will it take? | 30 minutes |
| What do I need? | Variable |
| What do I do? | When a friend, relative or neighbour experiences a loss, ask your child how they think that person is feeling, and why. Ask your child what they could do to help the person - invite them to join an activity, send them a card, give them a gift. Encourage them to think of as many ideas as possible. Then ask your child to choose the best one and do it. |
